Saturday, April 12, 2008
exactly a week ago, 04 apr 08, i got a call from ting. i was watching the 9pm drama serial at that point in time so i wasnt prepared for what was to come. she told me u were dead. she said it so bluntly i had to make her repeat. i totally couldnt believe what i heard! she was telling me how and when it happened etc but nothing registered in my mind. i was in a daze, i dont know how to react to that horrible news. i never thought that i will have to handle this one day.
she went on to tell me that your aunt needs our help to spread the news to your other friends and stuff and was asking me how we should go abt doing it when we dont even have any of ur fren's contact. i couldnt think so i told her i will call her back as i need some time to get over the shock. everything just came too fast and sudden.
somehow i thought of logging into ur msn. thats like the only way we can get to ur frens. i was lucky to get the correct password the first try. the next question i had was who to tell and who not to tell. it really wasnt easy. i hate to be the one informing people about ur death when i myself was still trying to accept the fact that u already left us.
there were so many questions running through my mind. i blamed u for doing this to me. whatever problems u had, u could have come to us. thats what besties are for. 9 years of friendship isnt nothing. im sure together we could come out with ways to help u. death isnt a solution. its a cowardice act.
someone told me u chose this path out of desperation, everything just became too much for u to bear so u wanted a fast way out. he said u will be happier this way. is that so? well, i guess i will never get any answers again.
and if anyone is at fault, it has to be me. i blamed myself even more for what happened. if only i called u when u smsed me, if only i went out with u that day, if only i forced u to talk it out, if only i showed more concern, IF ONLY ... ... ... things might not have turned out this way. i could have stop this tragedy from happening. but everything is too late now. i have lost u forever.
i dont know if u have any unfulfilled wishes because we cant see the letters u left us yet. ur mum say it will probably take about 6 mths to get ur belongings back. so the last thing we could do for u was buy u the big taz soft toy u told me u wanted just few days before and to get our classmates, ur jc frens and ex colleagues to send u off ur last journey.
i bet u never know how important u were to me. u have long become a part of my life. i thought we didnt have to speak to know whats going through our minds. i guess i was wrong, big time. i should have told u how much ur friendship means to me. mayb u wouldnt do what u did if i make u feel appreciated. just maybe.
虽然已过了一个星期, 但我始终无法将你抛出脑外. 我们曾经一起去过那么多地方, 一起做过那么多事, 我门之间还有那么多的约定. 说好要一起去动物园, 说好要一起看电影, 说好要在我找到工作后请你吃喝玩乐, 说好要一起出国, 说好要陪彼此度过每一个生日, 说好要当一辈子的好朋友好姐妹. 现在你既然先离我而去了. 你怎么那么狠心丢下我呢?
只想让你知道, 你是我这一生中最好最好的朋友. 即使让我从新选择一次, 我还是要和你当知己. 如果有来世的话, 希望我们还会是好姐妹. 不过这一次要永永远远的. 最后, 无论你身在何处, 我都会祝福着你, 永远怀念你. 你在天之灵也要保右我.
MAY YOU REST IN PEACE
Let love be the one to knock at ur door ♥♥♥
♥♥♥ True love is worth waiting for
4/12/2008 01:32:00 AM
Family and Friends
