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Sunday, April 23, 2006

ytd noon, I was watching ch 8 jie da huan xi in my parents room.. so I oni go to my room n chk out my laptop in between all the commercials.. initially I was appearing offline.. tink it was durin the 2nd commercial tt I happened to see leen online.. so I went online n chatted with her.. she was being v insensitive, she knew tt I wasnt feeling ok yet she asked mi to send her songs though she kept sayin paiseh.. zzzzzzzz.. wateva.. she went off shortly aft I send her 2 songs.. den I went back to watch my show..

when I gt in front of the laptop durin the next commercial again, I saw tt he was online.. oh my god.. Din expect to see him online during weekends since last fri to sun, he wasnt online either.. but today he was online since late afternoon.. even after I logged off n went to slp, he was still online.. there was a lot of things tt I din expect.. lyk I din expect tt he will b online n thus I put a broken heart in my nick..

so on seeing his nick appearin among the online grp, I immediately took away the broken heart.. I played ard with my display pic as well.. wanted to put a new one tt he nv see b4.. hmm.. initially I chg to one tt I took with my bro.. but in less than a min, I chg to the one tt I wore boots..

the show started and I went back to watch the show again.. when I returned to my com during next commercial, I saw orange msn win blinking.. my instincts told mi tt it was him.. I walked nearer n see.. it was him indeed.. so I clicked n see wat he has gt to say..

him: "hi"
him: "is tt ur bf?"

I was surprised by tt remark cos I din tink he will see tt pic of mi n my bro.. cos I put tt for less than a min lor.. how could he haf possibly saw.. but I was happi tt he asked.. guess it showed smth.. so I chg the bootsie pic back to tt pic with my bro and I asked him..

mii: "huh? U mean him?"
mii: "haha"


him: "yeah"

mii: "no.."

him: "then?"

mii: "y lei? Jealous ah? Haha =P"

him: "yeah lor"

mii: "haha"

din tell him tt he was my bro after all.. juz deny tt he was my bf.. he din replied mi aft tt.. I felt lyk struggling him cos he was diao-ing my wei kou again.. reali dun understand wat he meant.. is he really jealous? Is he really interested in mi? juz wat is he trying to imply.. it was worse than nt talking to mi at all.. Zzzzzz.. getting super exhausted and sick of this stupid game..

alex was online.. I msn him n told him tt I was feeling very very sad ah.. so he asked mi y and so on.. I updated him on the latest tt has been happening between apple n mi.. I sought his opinion on this situation.. I even told him abt the silly thot of accepting his invitation..

he analyzed and interpreted the situation with mi.. gave mi lots of sound advises.. though most of them din get into my head.. I was too into him tt I totally couldnt tink rationally.. though parts of mi agreed with wat he said, I couldnt bring myself to say it out.. awwww.. wateva..

BRO, JUZ WANNA THK U FOR TAKING TIME TO LISTEN TO MY WHININGS AND SPENDIN TIME TO ADVISE MI THOUGH I KEPT DISAGREEING WITH U!! i really appreciate ur concern.. I hope I wun do any foolish things.. if I eva haf the thot, I hope ur words will ring and sound in my head n stopped mi in time b4 I do anything rash tt I will regret foreva..

sch is starting soon.. totally nt in the mood.. din wanna go to sch.. would rather prefer to go to work.. angel is gonna suffer alone on mon.. I cant be there with her.. hopefully its nt as bad as we haf imagined.. angel, if u really need a channel to vent all frustrations out, juz gib mi a call k? DO NOT HESITATE!! Haha.. though there might b nth much I could do to save u, at least u would feel beta after talking out.. just dun hide in the cubicle and suffer alone silently =) wateva it is.. YOU STILL HAF MI K? haha.. I wish u luck!! =)

haiz.. really tired.. physically n mentally.. hope I can pull thru this tough period.. "nah mo or nit tor hood!" pls boh pi mi.. let wat I m dreaming of come true so tt I can go back to my cheerful self.. I m even willing to cut exchange few yrs of my life for happiness.. say I m silly.. say wateva u wan.. but believe mi.. if u were mi, I bet u all will do the same thing.. for love is unexplainable n blind.. love makes one insane.. tts for sure.. zzzzzzz..


Let love be the one to knock at ur door ♥♥♥
♥♥♥ True love is worth waiting for


4/23/2006 12:05:00 AM