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Sunday, April 23, 2006

last nite veron msn mi.. she tried means n ways to sound mi out on y angel cried on the day I left.. I din tell her anyting.. I juz said I duno.. din meant to offend her in anyway.. juz tt angel din wan them to know so I respect her decision.. angel even went to the extent of blocking them.. anyway veron said she knew tt I knew smth but if I couldnt tell her, she would understand.. I hope she really does.. she also made a comment saying tt both angel n mi lyk gt moodswing tt day.. it wasnt really moodswing.. but at least she noticed tt we werent our usual self.. perhaps tts enuff to show how much she cares for us.. grateful to her for tt..

I decided nt to stay at home alone again today.. so I woke up at 8 plus though I slpt late last nite and went to my grandma hse with my mummy n bro.. juz couldnt lift my spirits up no matter how hard I tried.. when I reached her hse, my grandma was sitting on her bed eating chee cheong fan.. I went to sit beside her.. I juz sat there quietly.. din utter much words.. oni spoke when she asked mi qns..

she shocked mi when she leaned near mi and asked "ni you xin shi ah?" I was very touched tt she actually noticed.. it juz made mi realize how much my family cared for mi.. anyway I juz said no bluntly.. i doubt she bought my ans.. but she din probed any further either..

though she was alr very old, her eyes were still clear, or rather she was still very observant I would say.. mayb for this case the old saying will applies.. "jiang hai shi lao de la"

kept eating n eating today.. tts one reason y I dun lyk coming to my grandma hse.. cos I would grow very fat.. the supply of delicious food nv runs out here.. zzzzzz.. normally I would ctrl my cravings.. but today, I ate everyting offered to mi.. IN BIG PORTIONS summore.. was I gorging on food to suppress my own emotions? I dunno.. I couldnt care too much.. I oni know I m nt okie even as I m writing this..

I duno how to face my frens tmr.. they will sure ask mi wats wrong.. but I dun haf any intention to let them knoe.. zzzzzz.. the person who can fully understand wat I m gg thru now isnt gg to be with mi anymore.. starting from tmr, I m officially on my own.. how depressing =(

I feel tt I m walkin in a super dark underground tunnel all by myself.. guan yin niang niang, pls guide mi thru this n let mi see sum rays of light soon..


Let love be the one to knock at ur door ♥♥♥
♥♥♥ True love is worth waiting for


4/23/2006 11:21:00 PM